Wednesday, 5 March 2014
Life gets in the way
I am trying to read, I honestly and truly am. I am falling asleep in a book after reading the same page three times.
I don't have space for reading journal articles in my life just now. Inspection is looming over us and although management thinks we are doing really well I have massive reservations. I am constantly comparing my record keeping, practice, planning and evaluations to what I did in mainstream and I come up so short every time. I am drowning in an endless sea of paperwork that doesn't serve to make my job easier. I'd love to spend my time planning good, productive, engaging lessons but I feel so swamped by review meetings, the fact that I haven't done my evaluations and don't have a theme planner written, constantly being pulled out of class for this that and the other and not actually managing to get time in my class where I teach anyone anything. One pupil is getting disproportionately more time with me than any others and while that is working for him, everyone else is suffering. I'm spread too thin and its getting worse instead of better. All targets have to be evaluated and photo evidenced for this term, new long and short term targets set for every child and parent's night the first night of the inspection.
For the next two weeks I have the planning to do for my three days out of class and for the inspection week and I'm so exhausted that I'm completely out of ideas.
I can't get my brain to work to think of all the things it needs to think of! I am praying for a sick bug that only affects children starting tomorrow!
Add to all of that the daily grind of busy family life, trying to get help for a son who is having difficulty at school and a daughter who is never in the same place two days in a row.
Stop the world, I want to get off!
Right, enough moaning, off to put the kettle on and brew myself a nice strong cup of Man the F*ck Up and get the head down and get on with it!
Thursday, 27 February 2014
26th February 2014
How am I ever going to get through this?
This was a question I often asked myself while studying for my BEd degree. Through the course I was married, separated, moved house (twice), got pregnant, had a baby and still ended up with a 2:1 with merit in teaching. Somehow you just do it and I don't think you always know how. Well following on from yesterdays post about talking the talk without walking the walk I suppose its going to be tested! HMIe inspection in a fortnight. Never been through the process as a teacher but having recently gone through it as a parent in a school that I think is excellent but that got dragged over the coals I can think of things I'd rather be doing! Lets hope my previous experience with life stress helps me here!!
Lots of talk at school about my lack of confidence in what I'm doing despite the impression that my practice is really excellent but can't shake off the feeling that I'm really not getting it right and spend the majority of my time wallowing in self doubt and panicking about being behind on my paperwork. The writing down of interesting lessons has ground me down to the point of being unable to think straight and although on one hand being praised for coming up with good ideas is lovely, being unable to have the energy to see them through is a serious shortcoming. This is really having a negative impact on the team and on the children I teach.
Its the time of year when everyone starts to feel wobbly about the changes that come over the summer with children moving classes and staff accompanying them. I know I'm going nowhere but having a new child to deal with is looking pretty daunting at the moment!
This is supposed to be a reflective journal about my thoughts on the Inclusive Practice certificate course and has become a panicked incoherent ramble about the worries of an inspection. I will add though that I received some books through the post today from the university library - felt a bit like Christmas! I am however incapacitated by inspection fears and I don't think I'll be reading anything tonight!
This was a question I often asked myself while studying for my BEd degree. Through the course I was married, separated, moved house (twice), got pregnant, had a baby and still ended up with a 2:1 with merit in teaching. Somehow you just do it and I don't think you always know how. Well following on from yesterdays post about talking the talk without walking the walk I suppose its going to be tested! HMIe inspection in a fortnight. Never been through the process as a teacher but having recently gone through it as a parent in a school that I think is excellent but that got dragged over the coals I can think of things I'd rather be doing! Lets hope my previous experience with life stress helps me here!!
Lots of talk at school about my lack of confidence in what I'm doing despite the impression that my practice is really excellent but can't shake off the feeling that I'm really not getting it right and spend the majority of my time wallowing in self doubt and panicking about being behind on my paperwork. The writing down of interesting lessons has ground me down to the point of being unable to think straight and although on one hand being praised for coming up with good ideas is lovely, being unable to have the energy to see them through is a serious shortcoming. This is really having a negative impact on the team and on the children I teach.
Its the time of year when everyone starts to feel wobbly about the changes that come over the summer with children moving classes and staff accompanying them. I know I'm going nowhere but having a new child to deal with is looking pretty daunting at the moment!
This is supposed to be a reflective journal about my thoughts on the Inclusive Practice certificate course and has become a panicked incoherent ramble about the worries of an inspection. I will add though that I received some books through the post today from the university library - felt a bit like Christmas! I am however incapacitated by inspection fears and I don't think I'll be reading anything tonight!
25th February 2014
Loved the "escape from the classroom" feeling of the first input. Gave me lots to think about in terms of the place of special schools in our society and I surprised myself by hoping that some point in the future I might be out of a job! Really enjoyed hearing everyone's perspectives on what including ASN children actually is. I liked hearing about the attainment focused curriculum demands faced by the mainstream and LS teachers and the challenges posed to the secondary teachers by the learners who may have previously found themselves in specialist provision.
Admission time: I'd like to spend all of my time reading, researching and talking about this stuff!
Getting into the reading
Finding the reading challenging and although I read quickly i have had to find creative ways of making links to "who wrote what" in my mind. Have devised a wee table to fill in as I read to try to keep me focused on the salient details!
Ainscow's levers for change brought up, for me, a lot of the challenges faced by teachers and schools when trying to bring about full scale societal change!
Salamanca Statement (particularly the section on curriculum flexibility 20-32)
Made me feel optimistic about the vision for the youngsters I work with! however it really highlighted the development needs for the education system I work within. I like the references to the challenge faced by teachers in ascertaining what learners' wishes are - I can see the links to the ladder of participation chat I had with Mhairi and Amanda and leads me on to further reading on the subject of "learner voice"
Need to finish Salamanca reading next time - life gets in the way!
Linking to everyday practice...
Already starting to see links from reading and with other training (Talking Mats) This is beginning to lead me down a path of learner voice / autonomy / control as a focus. Might help with T to lessen anxiety and increase ownership of learning.
Big wobbles at work today over getting it right for the children in my class in terms of getting a balance between creating an environment where learners can work things out for themselves vs the more traditional "bucket filling" approach I have always used. Genuinely worried that i am able to talk the talk bu that I'm not actually walking the walk.
Admission time: I'd like to spend all of my time reading, researching and talking about this stuff!
Getting into the reading
Finding the reading challenging and although I read quickly i have had to find creative ways of making links to "who wrote what" in my mind. Have devised a wee table to fill in as I read to try to keep me focused on the salient details!
Ainscow's levers for change brought up, for me, a lot of the challenges faced by teachers and schools when trying to bring about full scale societal change!
Salamanca Statement (particularly the section on curriculum flexibility 20-32)
Made me feel optimistic about the vision for the youngsters I work with! however it really highlighted the development needs for the education system I work within. I like the references to the challenge faced by teachers in ascertaining what learners' wishes are - I can see the links to the ladder of participation chat I had with Mhairi and Amanda and leads me on to further reading on the subject of "learner voice"
Need to finish Salamanca reading next time - life gets in the way!
Linking to everyday practice...
Already starting to see links from reading and with other training (Talking Mats) This is beginning to lead me down a path of learner voice / autonomy / control as a focus. Might help with T to lessen anxiety and increase ownership of learning.
Big wobbles at work today over getting it right for the children in my class in terms of getting a balance between creating an environment where learners can work things out for themselves vs the more traditional "bucket filling" approach I have always used. Genuinely worried that i am able to talk the talk bu that I'm not actually walking the walk.
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